Wheel of Torture Tales of the Postal Author
by LadyPhreyaKaiba
Summary: upDATED! bEWARE OFF TOPICNESS, yAOINESS pRETTY SUES AND mINOR kAgOME BASING. bEHOLE THE HORRORS OF mE AND mE HOLDING A cONVERISION OF nOTHINGNESS AS WE tRY TO MOVE ahEAD! whAT WILL BECOME OF OUR FAVORITE sLIVeR HaIR bAD MOUTH dOG HALF dEMON, rEAD TO FIND
1. Default Chapter

Wheel of Torture 

LPK: (is wearing a black dress like Morgan from Adam's family. With red butterfly hair clippies in her afro, making her light brown skin look paler) Welcome to my first script story and I'm mad as hell and I ain't gonna take it no more! I'm sick and tried of people telling me I need an editor and not doing anything to help, here I write these stories that nobody likes, or cares for! So here's my revenge in the form of the most annoying of things, a Game show. Mwahahahaha, so let's meet our contestations and here the rules. But first let's meet my lovely assistants, my sadist sisters (and original characters). Serna(Serena) Fugi, and Raymounda(Ray-moan-na) Lightcrest(see my profile for more info about my girls). (two girls walk In, one is tall and has blood red hair and wears a black gothic dress, her puffy red hair is in a loose braid tided with a purple ribbon. With one eye covered by this fluffy red hair, she has brown skin like her creator, and an emotionless look on her face similar to Sesshomaru's. The second one also has brown gold skin although a bit darker then her sister's. She is very short, she is wearing a green, gold, and white ballroom gown, her dark hair is set like a butterfly on her head. She has a Manic look on her face, a crazy look shines in her green eyes) Ps. Just so I don't have to say this again here I go I don't own Inuyasha, but own my Girls…here we go

Shorter girl: The standard disclaimer hun. (Nods her head to the readers) I be, Serna of the Children of No man's land. This be Wheel of torture. Raymounda tell them of da rules.

LPK: Oh just get on with it….

The taller girl: …..Fine we will…I'm Raymounda also of the Children of No man's land and the rules of game is as follows the author at the end of each chapter, put one character up for death, the reviewer is then given 2days to review and save that character life or the chapter will be finished and the character will die. No character is sacred even the author Favorites will die if not saved. It takes 3 reviews in two days to save that characters life, it doesn't matter if one person votes 3 times as long as there are 3 reviews. This will continue for all the characters of any given Anime, game or show. Ok author back to you…..

LPK: Today's feature Anime is Inuyasha, and our Contestations are…. .The sisters reveled 3 bounded er for the lack of a better word people. Here they 1st up, he's hot head arrogant and bossy and fangirls still want to have his kids. The half demon Inuyasha…..

Inuyasha: umm….umm…umm..

Serna: We had to gag him or home boy wouldn't shut up. You got no idea what we had to go through to get him.

Raymounda: …..

LPK: that's why you're the go getters.

Serna: Kami is easier to deal with then you.

LPK: Well your on loan and besides I created you. So you have to do as I say any ways

Serna: ….

LPK: My characters revolution a side. Our next Contestations, The ever lechers, tricky, Monk… Miroku, Note fangirls still want to have his kids. (once more the sister revel a bond but not gagged Miroku.)

Miroku: why good lady if this is to be my death, do me the honor of bearing my child…

LPK: ….. Why isn't he gagged? (Is careful and slowly move away from the monk)

Serna: how should I know, Raymounda you were supposed to gag him.

Raymounda: If he gropes me I'll kill him.

LPK: don't kill him yet we need him alive. Serna you gag him…

Serna: I ain't gonna do it, I ain't gonna geit groped. Why not Raymounda?

LPK: you see your 16, Raymounda despite her size is only 13. It would feel less like statutory rape if you do it. Besides it that or you get a romance story with the monk and Raymounda will get paired with Sesshomaru….

Raymounda: (blushing then thinking, then is annoyed)……Me and that blow hard is he even straight, I think I would drive him nuts.

Serna: (is trying to gag the monk and trying not to get groped in the process) Will you two are like twins..

Raymounda: ….. I don't buy it, he has to gay. What man wears eye shadow.

LPK: what woman does shave any of her body hair? Come on lets get back to the point. Is the monk gagged yet.

Raymounda: your one to talk you don't shave your leg hair…

LPK: -.. Who's to say, at lest I shave my under arms.

(A smack was hear)

Serna: At lest he's gagged but I ain't doing that again

Miroku: is thinking 'At lest it was worth it'

LPK: you will have to un gag him when we start the game…(Serna looks at LPK then at the monk, who smiles suggestively. Then shakes her head No.)

Serna: its your Fic you do it. (not wanting her butt anywhere near that Monk again)

LPK: we'll cross that bridge when we get there. sticks( her tongue out at Serna who returns the favor) Ok our next Contestation is non other then bad mouth, Kagome groupie, I don't know what else to say, wolf demon…. Kouga (once more the sisters revel a bond and this time gagged as well as extremely pissed off wolf demon.)

Kouga: umm…Mmm…..ummm…UMMM! (struggles in his demon power blocking chains.)

LPK: Ain't he a good sport… she pats him on the head, and if Kouga could have bitten her he would have. our next Contestation is non other then….(Serna whispers something in LPK's ear) What do you mean you ran out of bishys to kidnap. How about Naraku? Get him? I want Naraku on my show.

Serna: Raymounda you go get 'im or it or what'ver it is.

Raymounda: why me….

Serna: because as negative as you are, da hell spawn might fall in love with you. (laugh sarcastic, then thinking of what that would mean, is just than grossed out) It's all yours, Raymounda.

Raymounda: (also thinks about it then cringes.) Oh no there no way I'm going to captivating Naraku.

LPK: (is thinking of a new fanfic to write featuring this couple) Maybe I could make it a Naraku/Raymounda than a Sessy/Ray. That could be good starts (muttering nonsense about her bad stories.)

Raymounda: Your not thinking what I think you thinking. There no way in hell I doing that, You know I hate romance! Find I'll get Naraku, but Serna has to help me. (goes off with Serna to catch Naraku but mutters about Hating romance stories)

LPK: will looks like I have to wait for my 4th contestation. (starts to twiddle her thumps)

(5 hours later)

LPK: what's taking them…. I'm ready to torture my guest er.. I mean… play the game.

Serna: we back miss us… (walks in the room laughing.)

Raymounda: IT'S NOT FUNNY! (also walks in the room…But has someone clinging to her).

LPK: what's that?

Raymounda: who do you think? Damn demon lost his mind.

Serna: Actually a half demon….

Raymounda: whatever! GET HIM OFF!

Naraku: Oh my Evilean where have you been all my life! MARRY ME! (OK, OK he's out of Character but hey my story, that and you have no idea how evil Raymounda can, but he's not her type. She's battle happy, and cold hearted. And still a little kind deep, deep down. Weather that makes them a couple or not you decide: Groping Raymounda as she try's to use a crowbar to get away, when that doesn't work she uses her large sword to break lose)

LPK: Will at long last our final contestation clears her throat and continues the one everyone and their grandmothers hates….his evil, he scheming, and he's bad to the bone……Naraku…(she then revels and newly bonded(for Raymounda sake) yet not gagged Naraku.)

LPK: Ok now why isn't he gagged.

Serna: will he so infatuated with Raymounda that he won't be speakin much if any.

LPK: ok at long last the game is set and next is the drawing and then the set up.

LPK: alright here is the magic drawing….er vase… What happen to my magic drawing box?

(The sister look around then shrug)

Serna: what box? All da wes could find by da vase.

LPK: Ok…then behold my magic Valentines vase er…this so cheesy. The draw begins now…..

(Everyone is excited at the draw, well actually, Inuyasha still trying to get free. Kouga is still trying to kill LPK, Miroku looks lustily at Serna who looks like she about to b-slap him at a moments notice. Naraku stares stoker like at Raymounda with a helpless attraction. Raymounda however just looks bored.)

LPK: HEY! YOU COULD PUT SOME EFFORT IN BEING SOMEWHAT SUSPENSEFUL!

(They look at her a moment then…go right back to what they were doing.)

LPK: fine whatever let me just draw…..and the winner or should I say loser is…..Inuyasha..(Note this drawing was random, he's actually one of my favorites but like I said no one is sacred)

Inuyasha: UM….?

LPK: That right, Inuyasha. Your it.

Serna: hahaha, it serves him right for all the hell he cause. (falls down laughing.)

Raymounda: Why couldn't it be Naraku?

LPK: Random is as Random does. Maybe next time? Maybe?

(The other contestations look at Inuyasha. Naraku snicks. Kouga looks pleased and Miroku looks at Inuyasha with pity then shrugs. Better him then me thing I guess.)

LPK: alright the victim has been chosen and it's up to you reviewers to save him…or not Remember all I ask is 3 reviews in 2 days. Hehehe read and review or not I don't care…But Inuyasha might…

Inuyasha: UM…. UM..U…M(translation please save me.)


	2. sUeESS 1

Wheel of Torture part 2 for me' fans

LPK: Hello and welcome back for more pointless fun well fun for me and not for you.

Serna: Ya mean we're actually updating this story…(is just in aw)

Raymounda: whoa…

LPK: That's right should hell or procrastination bar the way, this story will be continued…

Serna: (mumbles to her sister) She says da now but wait till a new chapter idea or story comes to er mind and this one will be quickly forgotten again..

Raymounda: of course she would be LPK of the lame stories if she didn't.

LPK: (to the sisters merge) I HEARD THAT! (now to her readers.) It's not that I am ungrateful of all the lovely reviews for this story, Its just that I've had a lot of laptop issue if you care to know which I doubt any do. On the lighter side or more pained side, WHY WON'T YOU REVIEW MY OTHER comedies! serouisly! this is depressing! I even tried romance to get some reviews! Get ready for a chapter you will never forget. If you Just love Mary sue or her other faceless copy cats than you'll hate me and this story, But I don't care, I'm writing for me not you. If you don't like it then tough!

Raymounda & Serna: (look at each other then worry.)

Serna: She in da mood again.

Raymounda: which for us can't be good…

LPK: (is taking deep breaths to try and calm down, is still very angry)

Serna: Just calm down new _boss. _(says the last part as if her whole soul is screaming against it)

Raymounda: yeah. (says without any thought, then goes back daydreaming, about being anywhere but here.)

LPK: I just want them to— (doesn't finish as a hole opens in the middle of her lair)

Faceless black form: We will take this place. (in a Gollum's voice form Lord of the Rings)

Faceless black form #2: yes, Yes! All your bases are belong to us! (in a badly translated Gollum's voice)

Raymounda: what the hell.(rises eyebrow)

Serna: No idea…

LPK: AHAHA! I've heard stories. Stories of creatures fouler then the foulest creatures!

Serna: An what pray till was des creatures called.

LPK: Mary sues…

Raymounda: Mary Sues?

LPK: Yes Mary Sues, Creatures so foul so perfect that the whole world and male bishoneun characters hind from. I should have known they would come the Inuyasha fandom has just too many numny-nummy boys to resist the Mary Sues!

Serna: So what is it we's gonna do, about it! (Is taking new interest in the story now)

LPK: Fight them!

Raymounda: Did my ears deceive me or did I just here we get to fight! (is really interested in the story now)

LPK: Yes! To war my merges to war!

(a poster board that looks like a 3 year did drew on, is being held up by 3 sets of hands, And it says; The sue wars)

Peach hands: this is a special chapter of Wheel of torturer.

Yellow brown hands: yeah like stuff happens with sues.

Dark brown hands: Yeah!

Peach hands: yeah so if you love the sue or have a weak stomach, Go watch pokemon or something cause this ain't for you.

Yellow brown hands: Jason, like quite touching my butt.

Peach hands now called Jason: that wasn't me Ronma!

Dark brown hands: AHAHA! Quite stepping on mai!

Jason & Ronma: SHUT UP! DERAL!

Dark brown hands now known as Deral: Dat ain't fair.

(Somewhere off screen) Serna: no one cares Deral!

(Also off screen) Raymounda: Yeah!

(Still off screen) Serna: shut it Raymounda.

(Also somewhere off screen) LPK: can I have my story back, now?

All merges:…

LPK: Good. Now. SUUUUUUES!

(we go to the sues and see that while the merges and there new boss/creator are arguing/screaming, The sues were planning)

Sue #1: (in a pink school girl uniform) we will interface a known female main character hater, and make her use her author powers and domain of infinite, to take over the Inuyasha fanfictions HAHAHA!

Sue #2: (in a blue uniform) Yes in deed! Hahahaha!

Sue #3: (in a pretty sluttly yellow uniform) yes but how? We sues do not have the spine to do such a thing! (in a very weak childish voice)

Sue #1: I know we will call on the sue to end all sues the sue with the power to be a bitch and still be loved, We will use our powers to summon…Kagome.

Sue #3: you mean…

Sue #2: the new Queen of the Sues.

Sue #3: Yes we will call on Kagome

(back to LPK and the others…)

LPK: SUUUUUUES! (has been going this whole time)

Merges:…

Serna: um LPK, is ya alright.

Raymounda: yeah and when the hell can we fight.

The 3 male merges: yeah

LPK: umm why are you guys still here, we don't need you any more. Serna order your party to leave or something…

Serna: I am afraid that in merge order I can't do that literally but maybe I can…(is thinking)

Raymounda: and that would be what?

Serna: I am thinking I am thinking…I know! You three guys as the leader of the band of merges called the Children of No man's land order you to hold the background! (pulls out her fan and points it at the there merge males.)

(the guys look at each other, then do the goofiest pose,)

Jason: like that (standing in a pose defined as just annoying)

Raymounda: BAHAHAHA! That is the stupid pose I have ever seen! (laughing her head off at the idiots of her group)

(the guys shift around embarrassed by stay quite)

Serna: That will work. Now just, I don't know stay there. (looks at LPK) now what?

LPK: (shifts around her own self) I don't know. SUESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Raymounda & Serna: (look at each other)

(Just then to end this random moment, brought to you in part by Snicker puss lemonade inc. The sues attack, and boy where they ever Sues, the most suest sues that ever sued where there, All climbing out of the hole in LPK's lair of white blankness, and the sue that lead the charge was the Sue that LPK, hated with ever bit of her bitter black heart. Kagome.)

LPK: AHAHAHA! It the Suessssssssssssssss!11 And-and that thing! (she adds pointing to Kagome)

Serna: and what now! (She then took her battle poise, which kinda of involves just standing there looking somewhat normal, having shifted back to her basic battle cloths of a green top and yellow/ gold pants)

Raymounda: yeah! ( as she takes her more menacing battle pose after transforming her heavy cast iron sword into a even heavier cast iron very large bastard sword, she also shifted back to her basic battle cloths consisting of a armor top and skirt bottom with pants underneath )

LPK: looks more like a butter knife to me.

(well yeah I guess your right, but bastard sound cooler)

LPK: I guess it does have a ring to it.

Serna: LPK, stop having conversations with yourself and lets get to it.

LPK: alrighty then, (goes all weird and disappear and reappears in Mazoku style, but now dressed in her battle outfit, a outfit very similar to a certain Daiyokai, well that and it has butterflies did I mention the copious amounts of red butterflies, the damn kimono has them on there too. Her poofy hair now set in many tiny red braids and pulled back with a black bandana)

LPK: are you going to mock my dressing now too.

(maybe)

LPK: (draws a deep breathe, but before her and her can argue any more, the sue Queen approaches, still dressed in her normal outfit, you figure being the sue queen meaning have cool armor or something. Anyways what happened to the game part of this game show.)

LPK: stop filling my lines with your side commentary. And oh I completely forgot. ; Oh well we came kinda of add the two together. (with that makes the not only the contestations but the whole cast of Inuyasha appear, will minus a very important character that LPK doesn't even know is missing as she now goes into fan girl mode, squeal Sesshomaru-sama. Although I prefer his dad, oh well it's a start.)

LPK: last time I checked you just narrate actions, and where not a character.

(bite me)

LPK: don't mind if I do…You said Sesshomaru-sama, didn't you.

(yup)

LPK: SQUEEEEEEEAL! SESSHOMARU-SAMA!(starts to crowd the Daiyokai who has a what the hell expression, then sighs. He had been summoned by yet another bad Fanfiction writer/obsessive fan girl)

(Everyone sweat drops, as I wonder how long I will have to keep typing non sense)

LPK: (is playing with his fluff, while singing Fluffy-sama, Fluffy-sama) you know I always wanted to—(oh no I am not typing that and where not going there, and so to torture myself and farther the story, LPK isn't the only one in love with Fluffy-kins, as all the other Mary sues mob after the hot demon)

Lesser Sues: SESSHOMARU-SAMA!

(sensing danger and overwhelming odds the demon lord runs for it)

LPK: Oh no you don't you plastic Barbie dolls, he's mine. (so using her over great Author powers sends Sesshomaru back to one of her other fanfics, and far away from the plastic hands of the Sues.) Wait for me my dear, dear Sesshy-kins.

Raymounda: I am going to pretent that, that didn't happen.

Serna: me too.

LPK: Alright now, what is it you want.

(the lesser sues having now fallen back in their ranks)

Kagome: Your power (she says some strength, which makes LPK laughs at the horrible attempt to be strong)

LPK: HAHA! You think you can just take it.

Kagome: yes we do! And we'll do it with Team work!

Sue in the pink outfit: That's right!

LPK & all the merges: HAHAHAHA!

LPK: Shut up, Tea! (she laughs more and doesn't notice that almost the whole cast of Inuyasha has abandons her for Kagome.)

Sango: were with you one hundred percent Kagome-chan!

Miroku: (still bond) that's right Kagome-sama!

Kouga: (also still bond and gagged) UMMMMM!

Kagome: (starts crying like the weak sue she is) I just wished that Inuyasha was here too.

Sango: (pats her back) We can do it! Just believe!

(at this point LPK is disgusted and annoyed and then again not wanting to be the bad guy of her own story wipes the memories of Miroku and Kouga, than sends them away, she also wipes Sango's memory of this story, and sends her back home. And the reader's memory too, that's right you didn't read that crap-a-sap and LPK is not a bad guy, right. Jedi mind trick! Good. Oh and Kagome was also mind tricked and doesn't remember that her friends where ever there.)

Kagome: we will take that power and all men of Inuyasha will have girlfriends, HAHAHAHA!

LPK: even Sesshomaru, and gasp Jakoustu, even thought he is gay.  
(well according to my Satellite he is a she, but yeah what ever)

Kagome: Ever hear of writing loosely. Hahahaha!

LPK: I will never hand over my power to Sue who would destroy Yaoi, prepare for a battle sue, Oh and one more things, he loves his brother more then he does you.

Dunnnnnnnn… next time on Wheel of torture

LPK: again I lose at Tetris I'll make them pay…

(what will happen next time will LPK win the rights for yaoi loves, will they save Kagome from the evil influence of the sues, do they even want to. And will we ever get back to the game show. Will you won't know unless you review… R and R please, Ps, tell me who should I invite that isn't part of the Inu-gumi to the fight? See ya next time…cheers -


End file.
